..DEAR

recently, i've been questioning the reliability of doctors. the way they do their consultations, the way they decide on the 'right' prescriptions and the way they deduce/estimate conditions are all seemingly dubious.

its because i feel that the difference between two years and two months just seems too much to take in. too soon.

i want to think that they have made yet another blunder and that their qualifications are bought, but then again its just another way of escaping the inevitable. afterall, doctors know best right?

so i shift the blame to the man above. for creating the ability in all human beings to love. because with love, there comes the misery of pain and hurt. misery due to a loss. to me, no loss is planned. nobody can lose something and not feel the immense shift of emotions from one end to another just because they saw it coming. it always happens suddenly. there's always not enough time.

like now, there's really not enough time.

i dont hate God for this, i just dont understand why. if its true that he loves us all, he, of all people would understand what it feels like to have someone dear go away. but yet, he does this to all of us.

he created death.